


Lilac In Bloom

by misslovelyinblack



Category: Fire Emblem: Fuukasetsugetsu | Fire Emblem: Three Houses
Genre: Abusive Parents, Awkward Romance, Ballroom Dancing, Cuddling & Snuggling, Eventual Smut, Exploration, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Hubert's trying his best, Hurt/Comfort, Neck Kissing, Other Additional Tags to Be Added, Past Child Abuse, Rating May Change, Religious Guilt, Romance, Romantic Fluff, Soft Hubert von Vestra, Touch-Starved, Touching
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-11-14
Updated: 2020-03-31
Packaged: 2021-01-30 19:09:45
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 16,533
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21433255
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/misslovelyinblack/pseuds/misslovelyinblack
Summary: Bernadetta grows closer to the mage she, initially, found so frightening before. Hubert helps her explore her sensuality, and eventually, falls for her.
Relationships: Bernadetta von Varley/Hubert von Vestra
Comments: 54
Kudos: 145





	1. Prologue: The Night of the Ball

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic after many years of hibernation.
> 
> While I'm super loyal to my Blue Lions, I found these two to be so adorable and couldn't help myself! I hope you enjoy! More notes at the end.

Bernadetta cemented herself in the corner of the reception hall, head down, her legs pressed together, fidgeting her fingers through her fresh curls. She felt frozen in place, unsure as to what she should do. She knew the ball would be an opulent event. However, she did not expect this level of crowds, nor the unbridled extravagance that followed. Her tea length plum dress, decorated with her own floral embroidery, looked so dressed down in comparison to the luxury around her. She felt eyes look her up and down. She even thought that she maybe heard a snicker or two from strangers. It all reminded her of the disastrous balls her father hosted, in an attempt to find her a husband. All the events ended the same, leaving her stranded in a corner alone, further cementing her reputation as the recluse of House Varley.

She spotted her classmates on the other side of the hall. They seemed to be having fun at least. Dorothea appeared to be taking pleasure in declining Ferdinand’s invitation to dance. Caspar seemed to be a little drunk, and was he challenging Captain Jeralt to fight? Seemed so, as she watched Lindhart drag the blue haired boy away from the chuckling knight. Petra drew a crowd around her, as she demonstrated a dance from her homeland. Edelgard stood by their professor, entranced in what looked like an engaging conversation. Then there was Hubert, standing by Edelgard imposing as ever, stone faced. He towered over most of the attendees. This didn’t seem to be his type of event, but wherever Edelgard needed him, he followed.

Hubert scanned the dance floor, not for dance partners, but for potential threats. These were trying times at the Monastery, and danger could be lurking anywhere. His focus was interrupted by a sharp nudge to his side. Edelgard motioned him to look over at timid Bernadetta. Hubert observed her for a bit, watching her fidget in place. It took him a moment to take in her appearance. She looked distressed, but then again that was not unusual. Her curled hair and the dress she wore desired that she would be in a more festive mood. Still though, it fit her likeness well. Daresay, she looked lovely. Not like she did not before, but it was a nice change. Hubert felt a slight heat crawl up his face.

“You should bring her over here, or at least go ask her to dance.” Edelgard said interrupting his thoughts. She studied his face and noticed its change in color. She smirked before saying, “Besides, I don’t think anyone has asked her yet.”

Hubert crossed his arms. Did no one really ask her to dance? What a shame, he thought. He supposed he could do her the honors, but she was so frightened of him. It seemed she would jump just about every time he spoke to her. This could be disastrous. But regardless, Lady Edelgard asked, so he would follow. “As you wish.” He responded.

Bernadetta’s eyes were glued to the marble floor. Her body clenched as she felt herself closing in. Everyone else seemed to be having so much fun, of course they were. They were properly dressed, swift on their feet and knew how to handle crowds, she thought to herself. It struck her that she may have overstayed her welcome, she glanced every which way, trying to find a discrete exit. She stiffened when she realized that she was caught under an ominous shadow. A shiver crept up her spine as she looked up at the foreboding figure that was now in front of her. It was Hubert, striking his piercing gaze from his acid green eye, that wasn’t hidden behind bangs, freezing her in place.

“Hello Bernadetta.” He said.She jumped when she heard Hubert’s voice cut through the noise around her. “H- Hubert!” She squeaked. She heard a group of students giggle at her display.“I’ve heard reports from other students attending this ball, describing a suspicious figure lurking about the walls.” A chuckle followed.

She clasped her hands together, twisting her fingers about, before ducking her head. “It’s me isn’t it? I’m bringing down the mood.” She said, her voice timid.

“Yes, I’m afraid so, and I can only think of one thing to do to remedy this situation.”

Bernadetta flinched, jerking her head away from the accusing mage, and clenched her eyes shut, fearing the worst. After a beat of nothing happening, she, cautiously, turned her head back in Hubert’s direction before opening her eyes. To her surprise, Hubert was now bowing to her level extending his hand towards her.

“You leave me no choice but to request this dance Lady Varley.”

Bernadetta froze for a moment, she stood there, blinking, unsure as to what to say. “I-“ She stammered. 

Hubert straightened himself, unsurprised by her reaction.

“If you do not wish to that is fine.”

"Aaah! No! It’s not that it’s just- “ She felt heat rise to her cheeks “ Are you sure? I wouldn’t make a very good dance partner.”

“Just follow my lead.” He said, his voice very matter of fact.

She hesitated a bit before, finally, taking his hand. “O-okay… but don’t say I didn’t warn you.”

Hubert walked her to the edge of the dance floor, where the crowd was less dense. He wrapped his hand around the small of her back, the other grasping her hand. Her head reached just below his chest. Hubert couldn’t help but chuckle, noticing their height difference. The music swelled and the two began to dance. Bernadetta followed his lead, her legs shook underneath her. She rest her free hand on his chest, tracing her finger over the embroidery on his jacket. The suit he wore fit him well. It was black with a matching cape, befitting for someone like him. She wouldn’t dare say it, but it made him look quite handsome. She tilted her head up to look at his face. Did he cut his hair? His jawline was more prominent, his features looked sharper. Hubert glanced downward to meet her gaze, cutting her a sly grin. Bernadetta’s eyes widened, her face flushed pink before tripping over his feet and falling face first into his chest. She scurried to back herself off of him.

“Ah! I-I’m sorry!” She screamed. Loud enough to where students, in their immediate vicinity, glanced over. She noticed and felt her stomach churn. “I’ll just go.” She said as she turned away from him.

“Bernadetta. ”

“No! I’m ruining your evening! G-go find someone better to dance with! Someone that’s not me!” She tripped again, falling out of one of her shoes before hitting the ground. “Ah!” She shrieked as she grabbed her ankle. You’re just no good at this Bernie!” She felt tears well up in her eyes and hid her face in her hands. 

Hubert leaned down and offered her his hand. Bernadetta ducked her head down further, trying to hide her tears. Now he was taking pity on her, she just knew it. Hubert crouched further, making sure his face was level with hers. He gently lifted her head with his fingers. “Might I suggest something?” He asked while wiping away her tears with his glove. 

Bernadetta locked eyes with him before nodding and glancing away.

Hubert smirked before whispering in her ear. “Take them off.”

“W-What?!”

“Your shoes.”

“Oh.. um.. okay.” She said as she kicked off her remaining shoe, and pushed them to the side before letting Hubert help her up. She was now barefoot in her dark tight. It was not necessarily ladylike, but definitely more comfortable.

Hubert nodded. “Good, now stand on my feet.”

Bernadetta hesitated. “But, won’t I be too heavy?”

“Not at all. Like I stated before, follow my lead.”

She did as she was told, and stepped on top of his shoes, her feet balancing on his without struggle, barely making a dent. He wrapped his hand around the small of her back once more, and resumed their dance. His steps were slower, but he still managed to maintain his original movements. Their bodies were pressed closer together than before, allowing Bernadetta to take in his scent, He smelled of cloves, and some other spices she couldn’t make out. She inhaled again, this time, savoring his musk, allowing herself to become enveloped in it. Her fingers ran over the details of his coat again as her other hand gripped his back. Bernadetta felt Hubert’s fingers trace up spine, stopping when he reached her hair, his fingers looped around her curls.

“Your hair is different.” 

Bernadetta gripped his coat even tighter. “Oh.. um… Dorothea helped me out.”

“Well, you should have her do it more often. It looks rather pretty.”

Bernadetta felt her blush reach her ears. She buried her face into the mage’s chest, trying to hide her expression, not before letting out a quiet involuntary squeak. Hubert chuckled, watching her squirm.

“Comfortable in there?” He asked.

Bernadetta stiffened a bit. She pushed her face into his chest even deeper, her voice muffled. “It um.. it-“ Her shoulders relaxed. “It’s nice.” She finally said, using the quietest voice she could muster.

Hubert moved his hand back down to where it was. He pulled her in just a little tighter as he continued with their dancing. The two stayed silent, both absorbed in the moment until the music died down. They stood there motionless for a few moments after the song came to end.

“Oh… I suppose it’s over now is it?” Bernadetta asked, her voice giving away her disappointment as she still clung onto his jacket.

“Yes, I suppose it is. Pity.” He said with a begrudged sigh. He paused for a moment before stroking her hair again. “That is not to say the evening is over however. Is there anything else you’d like to do?”

Bernadetta stood still for a moment, thinking about what she wanted to say, before finally stepping off of him and loosening her grip. Her blush deepened as she looked away, twiddling her fingers before responding. “Would… would you like to go to the goddess tower?”

Hubert pondered for a moment. This time it was his turn to feel nervous. Heights were not something he cared for. Besides, that silly legend associated with that place guaranteed that they would have zero privacy. “Perhaps not.” He said in response.

Bernadetta ducked her head. “Oh, I see…” She squeaked before covering her face. “ Aaahh! I’m sorry!! Forget I said any-“

Hubert grabbed her wrists, pulling her hands away from her face. “I haven’t finished.” He said as he loosened his grip and lowered her arms. “I was merely suggesting against it, if you wanted us to be alone.”

“A-alone??” Bernadetta stammered.

“Is that not what you want?”

“Yes! I mean no! I mean-“

“Where would you like to go Bernadetta?”

She gave herself a few moments to think before she calmed herself “The greenhouse would be nice…” She said with a small smile as she looked off to the side. She suddenly jerked. “Oh I need to feed Penelope anyway!” She said, scrambling to one of the tables near them, grabbing an abandoned plate with various meats.

Hubert raised his brow. Perhaps Penelope was one of the monastery cats he had yet to meet? He offered her his arm. “Shall we then.” 

Bernadetta took his arm, pulling herself closer to him as they walked through the monastery. Hubert was probably right about forgoing the goddess tower, she thought, considering there was no one around, say the occasional knight. The two didn’t speak a word to each other during their stroll, but Bernadetta certainly did not mind. She leaned her head against his shoulder. Hubert glanced downward to look at her, surprised by the gesture. His ears and cheeks started to feel warm, a feeling that was cut short due to their arrival at the greenhouse.  
As suspected, the greenhouse was empty. Moonlight spilled through the windows bathing the room in an ethereal glow. Bernadetta let go of Hubert’s arm, and sprinted off to the left corner.

“Hey! Sorry I’m later tonight, but I brought you some dinner.” She said as she kneeled down.

Hubert peeked over her shoulder, expecting to see a cat or some sort of other small animal. Instead, to his surprise, he found Bernadetta sitting on the ground leaning over an unfamiliar plant, giving it tiny pieces of the leftover meat she found.

Hubert chuckled. “So this must be Penelope I presume?”

“Oh! Yeah!” She beamed. “She’s a Nepenthes! She mostly eats bugs but, since it’s a special occasion I figured she could have a treat tonight! She’s really cool she-“ Bernadetta stopped herself when she saw Hubert’s perplexed expression. Her body tensed and she looked away. “You… you probably don’t want to listen to any of this.”

“Oh no, in fact, I’d say you have me intrigued. I was just caught off guard. I never pictured you being into this sort of thing. Carnivorous plants seem so-”

“What do you mean?! Carnivorous plants are adorable!”

Hubert, crossed his arms, allowing a small grin to sneak up his face. He had to admit her enthusiasm for such an oddity was quite endearing. He crouched down behind her, his shadow looming over.

“Tell me, do you know of any species that are known to consume prey of the human variety?” He said as he leaned closer to her ear.

Bernadetta felt a shiver creep up her spine, both from his question, and from his warm breath creeping up her neck. “Well… in about 5 years or so, Penelope will be even taller than you are, but I don’t know think she’ll eat people.” She paused. “Well, she won’t on purpose at least, someone would have to climb…” She gulped. “O-or be dropped in.” 

Hubert chuckled, his face was beaming. “Why, that is certainly very useful information to know. Thank you.”

Bernadetta scooted away from the mage.“Wait! You’re not planning to… d-drop me in there are you?!

Hubert’s chuckle morphed into a sinister cackle, so loud that his voice vibrated off the stone walls. “Do you really take me as such a brute?” He said as his laughter trailed off. He paused for a bit, still relishing in his smirk as he rest his chin in-between his fingers. “If I could be be frank, you’re one of the few I would not consider.” His eyes met hers. “Daresay, I find your company pleasant. ”

Bernadetta’s eyes widened before glancing away from his gaze. This had to be a trick. Surely, he didn’t mean it. She crossed her arms.“You’re just teasing me!”

Hubert laughed again., his voice toeing the line between jovial and sinister. “How could I not? You’re too much fun.” He offered her his hand once more. “However, this time I am serious.”

He helped her back up with ease. Moonlight spilling in from the windows reflected off of her dress. He studied her in it, taking in the intricate details. 

“The needlework on your dress is certainly unique.”

Bernadetta looked away as she twiddled her fingers. “Thanks …I made it.”

“Really? You crafted all of this yourself?”

She nodded.

“You’re quite the talented seamstress.”

“You really think so?”

“You know I’m not one for flattery.” He said very matter of fact. 

Bernadetta’s blush deepened. “It’s nice to hear you say that… I don’t think it was very popular, I heard some girls laugh at me.”

Hubert’s expression sharpened. “Let them laugh, in time they will prove themselves to be fools.”

“Easy for you to say! You can just scare away people that laugh at you with that face of yours!” It took Bernadetta a moment to realize what exactly she had said. She covered her mouth with her hands before looking up at Hubert, who’s expression was blank. “I- I didn’t mean it like that! Ah!” She shrieked. “I’m so so sorry!”

“Well, I can’t say your observation is incorrect.”

Bernadetta felt the guilt wash over her. She ducked her head back down. “Still though. I really am sorry! I didn’t mean anything by it.”

Hubert moved in closer, brought his hand to her chin and, gently, lifted her head back up. Their faces were now just a mere inch or two apart. “Think nothing of it. I know you don’t have a single malicious bone in your body.” He said as pushed her hair away from her face.

Bernadetta took note of his features. His expression was warm, with the first genuine smile she had ever seen leave his lips. She had to double take. It was both wonderful and frightening, sending both a chill up her spine along with a contradicting warmth in her chest. Her lips parted as she found herself stepping in just a little closer.

Hubert studied her face, taking in every detail. He found himself pause as he realized something was different from the norm for the little archer. At this moment, she had been truly holding eye contact, not staring off as she usually did. He noticed how her grey eyes caught the reflection of the moon, how they shimmered under its glow, how wide her pupils had dilated. Her gaze locked him in place, and he found himself unable to look away. Her parted lips quivered, seemingly not out of fear, but possible anticipation? His gloved hand stroke her cheek, before returning to her hair. He ran his fingers through before tucking a lock behind her ear as he whispered. “You on the other hand, look lovely Lady Varley.” With that said, he leaned his head down, guiding Bernadetta’s lips to his. 

Bernadetta’s eyes widened, she stood still with her fists clenched by her sides. His movements were delicate and his lips were, surprisingly, warm. Her body soon became putty under his touch as she finally closed her eyes and leaned into the kiss. She rest her hands on his chest digging her fingers into his coat; all while doing her best to mimic his movements. Her lips trembled, unsure but curious. Was she even doing this right? Her thoughts were smothered under his touch as he continued, teasing her with a slight amount of tongue.

Soon, almost too soon Hubert pulled his lips away, his grin still present. “Never been kissed before have we?” He chuckled.

Bernadetta face flushed red. She hunched over and averted his gaze. “Was it that obvious?” She fiddled with her hands. “I really was terrible was I?”

He crossed his arms. His expression took on a more serious tone. “No, but you seemed a bit reserved.” He felt his face heat up. “Perhaps, I misread the situation?”

“No! Its not that I didn’t enjoy it it’s just… I -I wasn’t prepared I think.”

“I see.”

The two stood in silence for a few moments. Bernadetta gulped before turning to Hubert once more.

“Cou- could we try it… again?”

“Come again?”

“I… um…” She straightened her posture. “I want you to kiss me again.”

Hubert lowered his arms. His all too familiar smirk returned. He closed the gap between them before he, with care, lifted her face towards his. “As you wish.”

He pulled her in with great enthusiasm, this time introducing his tongue sooner. His hands snaked downward to her hips, where he gripped her to pull her in even closer. Bernadetta melted into his touch. She wrapped her arms around his neck and let Hubert take the lead. His tongue explored her mouth entangling hers with his as he continued the kiss. His hold on her hips tightened as his lips left hers and trailed down her jaw towards her neck. He planted gentle kisses before blowing on her neck and gently sucking. Bernadetta quaked from the sensation. She let out a stifled moan as she wrapped her fingers into his hair. 

“Enjoying yourself are we?” Hubert said, his breath trailed down her neck.

The question jolted her. She pulled away to hide her face in his chest. She felt as though her heart would explode on the spot. To think she was actually made those noises. No. Stupid stupid Bernie. Her chest tightened as she all of a sudden remembered herself tied to a chair, her father challenging her to stay quiet, the smack of a switch to her arms or legs every time she made a sound. A good wife was to be silent in all aspects of life; amongst pleasure especially. Her body trembled, as she found herself unable to come up with an answer. Hubert noticed the sudden change of demeanor, and ran his fingers through her hair. His other hand moved to her waist and held her tight. “Perhaps, I may have overwhelmed you a bit. Would you like to retire for the night?”

She nodded.

“Shall I accompany you?”

“That… would be nice.”

Hubert gave Bernadetta a few moments to compose herself before offering her his arm. The two walked together in silence. Bernadetta’s fingers dug into his arm, holding onto him as tight as she could. Hubert watched her as they walked. She was as timid as a cornered bunny rabbit. Precious, yet solemn all at one. Her reacting the way the she did just earlier was not unusual, but he did hold a slight concern for her. Soon, the two found themselves in front of her door. They lingered for a bit before Hubert spoke. “It seems we’ve arrived.”

Bernadetta hesitated, but she did, eventually, let go. She opened her door and entered her lit room.

Hubert began to make his leave before Bernadetta squeaked.

“H-Hubert?”

He turned around.

“Yes Bernadetta?”

Bernadetta gripped the edge of her door, her nails digging into the wood. “Um…I really did have good night… it was much better than expected.” She managed to say with a soft smile.

Hubert grinned. “I can certainly say the same.” He leaned in and planted the gentlest of pecks on her lips. “Goodnight Bernadetta.” He leaned in further towards her ear and whispered. “Until next time.”

Bernadetta felt the heat rise throughout her entire face.“N- night! Goodnight!”

She closed the door and soon found herself sliding down it, until she reached the floor. She reached for her stuffed bear and held it tight, reminiscing over everything that had just transpired. She let out a small giggle. Not once did she think she would ever develop a crush on someone as frightening as Hubert, let alone kiss him. She, eventually, stood up and made her way to her basin and mirror to wash up. She noticed a slight bruise on her neck. No doubt from Hubert. Her heart fluttered as she admired the mark. Her giddiness soon morphed to terror. Wait, she thought. How was she going to cover it up? She clenched at the thought of what people would say. What if word spread to her father? She began to shake. “No, not now Bernie.” She said as she slid into her gown. 

For once, she was able to quickly compose herself. Maybe she could borrow foundation from Dorothea in the morning. She thought as she climbed into bed. Within minutes she began to drift off, with the image of the dark mage’s kind smile still fresh in her mind.

Hubert, eventually, made it to the upstairs dormitories. He was taken aback to see Edelgard standing by his door. She mused noticing his tussled hair and the small amount of lipstick, clearly, transferred to his lips. “Well, did she have a good time?”

Hubert chuckled. “I didn’t know it was her wellbeing you were looking out for.” 

“As house leader it is my duty to ensure, to the best of my abilities, that my fellow classmates had an evening worth remembering.”

“I see.” He said as he jiggled the door handle.

Edelgard grabbed his arm. “Be gentle with her, the last thing she needs is heartbreak.”

Hubert turned towards her and lowered her arm. “Lady Edelgard, I do not say this to defend myself, but I strive to be a gentleman.”

Edelgard raised one eyebrow. “You? A gentleman?”

“Have I ever come across as lacking in charm?”

Edelgard crossed her arms, a mischievous grin formed on her lips. 

“Daresay, I was more gracious to her than I am to you.” Hubert said as he entered his room.

“I didn’t know you had it in you Hubert.” Edelgard said.

A dark chuckle escaped him. “There is much about me you don’t know.”

“Clearly.” She said as she made way towards her room. “Goodnight my friend.”

“Goodnight Lady Edelgard.”

Hubert closed his door and removed his clothing, taking care to properly put everything away before readying himself for bed. He soon laid down to rest. He began to go over the tasks tomorrow would bring. However, his thoughts kept on wandering back to Bernadetta. His tongue brushed over his lips, the taste of her lipstick was still fresh. He remembered the feeling of her hair, skin, lips, the contour of her hips under his hands, and the little moan she made in response to his touch. He felt something unfamiliar flutter within his chest and a foreign excitement upon the thought of seeing her in class. He wasn’t sure how to categorize these emotions, but they were not unpleasant. He reminisced the night once more as he, slowly, drifted off to sleep.


	2. The Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernadetta remembers past traumatic events, that continue to hinder her. Hubert is growing more concerned.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!
> 
> I just want to post a trigger warning here as this chapter depicts child abuse and a scene that depicts a forced pelvic exam. In addition, there is also some mild (consensual) sexual content.
> 
> More notes at the end.

Bernadetta sat still, body clenched, her arms and thighs stung. Her wrists burned as she tried to wriggle them out of the ropes bound to the splintered arm rest of the chair she sat in. Another thrash of a switch struck her thighs with great force. She scrunched her eyes shut as she bit her lip, just hard enough to draw blood.

“I don’t believe you! What did you do with that urchin!”

The urchin he referred to, was a commoner boy she had befriended in secret as of recent. She wasn’t sure how, but her father found out despite her best efforts to keep their friendship hidden. Bernadetta clenched her jaw, trying her best to not make a noise. He struck her again, this time with more force. She whimpered. “W-we were only playing.” 

Count Varley lunged towards her and grabbed a fistful of her hair, before yanking her head forward. “Do you think this is a game?! Do you have any idea as to what you’ve done to us?!” 

This time she yelled out. Her scalp seared as he pulled her down. The chair buckled underneath her and fell to the floor, the impact causing Bernadetta to scream. It was at this moment, the doors to the room flung open, and Bernadetta’s mother sped into the room, her lips pursed, and eyes wide. “Marcus! We discussed this!” She shouted. “She is 14! She is too old for this. Unsavory rumors of your intent with our daughter will spread if you keep this up!” She glanced down to look at her nails. “Besides, her skin is one of her redeeming features, and I will not have you ruin it.”

Count Varley closed his eyes and let out an exasperated sigh.  
“Then what in all your wisdom do you suggest we do about our situation then?!” He said through gritted teeth as he released his daughter’s hair.

“Never you mind Bernadetta.” She said as she crouched down to untie her. She tucked her long dark hair back behind one ear. “I will take care of her. As for that… boy.” She grimaced. “I will leave that to your jurisdiction.”

Bernadetta began to hyperventilate. She knew what this meant. The fate of her friend was sealed. “No! Please! Don’t hurt him. N-nothing happened I swe-”

“Bernadetta. Go to your room and wait for me there.” She snapped.

Bernadetta obeyed and ran to her room without haste. Once there, she slammed the door behind her. She laid down on her bed as she reached for her stuffed bear, a gift from her uncle, and held onto it as tight as she could. She was sore all over but his plushy body distracted her from the pain a little. She remembered the day her uncle gave him to her, she could never forget the warm smile he gave her as she hugged him, and how safe he made her feel. Tears began to well up. By the goddess she missed him. A sudden rattling of her doorknob caused Bernadetta to jump. She shot up as her mother unexpectantly opened the door, her eyes scrutinizing.

“Come, we’re having tea in the garden and for the goddess’ sake cover yourself. I don’t want the help seeing those marks.” She said in a cold tone of voice.

Bernadetta nodded as her mother closed the door. She caught her reflection in the mirror. Her arms and legs were littered with bruises and small cuts. She reached for her floor length robe in her closet, and bundled herself in it as tight as she could. Despite its warmth, she still shook underneath it. She stood in her room for a few moments, taking the time to give her bear one more squeeze, before opening the door. Her mother stood by, hand on hip. Bernadetta flinched as she felt her mother look her up and down. She massaged her temples and sighed before saying. “I would have preferred something more suitable but it will have to do for now. ” She motioned. “Come with me.” 

With that, she strode off. Bernadetta followed close behind her, not saying a word. The strained minutes felt like hours, but soon, they reached the gardens. It was one of the few places Bernadetta found enjoyable at House Varley. Although her collection was small and tucked away from the main garden, her mother did allow her to grow some carnivorous plants. To her disappointment, she found that tea was being served away from them. Bernadetta studied the table’s set up. It had the usual tea pot, cups, and scones, but in the middle of the table sat a pitcher of water and one singular glass. It was unusual, but she gave it little thought as she sat down.

There was an awkward silence as the servants served their tea and scones. Bernadetta’s mother waived her hand, signaling for them to leave them be. Bernadetta stared away, trying to avoid her mother’s cutting gaze, a nearly impossible feat.

“Bernadetta.”

“Y-yes?!” She jumped, almost spilling her tea.

Her mother took a sip from her cup. “I believe it is time we had a talk.” She reached for the glass at the center of the table “My mother passed this wisdom onto me, and now I will do the same for you.”

She took the pitcher of water and poured it into the glass, before setting it down in front of Bernadetta.

“Tell me my child, do you know what this is?”

“Um… a glass of water?” Bernadetta responded.

Her mother waved her finger. “No no. What do you think this represents?”

Bernadetta sat there, clutching her teacup. Was there more to this? She twiddled her thumbs over the edge of her cup.

“I figured as such.” Her mother said. Her face upturned.“This is your Chasity” 

Bernadetta nearly spilled her tea, her face felt hot all of a sudden.

“A young lady’s virginity is…” She continued with with fervent enthusiasm. “It is like this glass of cool water on a hot sunny day. Your husband to be is a parched knight, desperate for a drink.” She paused. “However.” 

Bernadetta watched her mother as she reached towards the ground. She cocked her head to the side as she scooped up the soil from the flower bed next to them.

“The knight is not the only man who wishes to take a sip from your glass.” She sprinkled a small amount of dirt into the water. “It may start off as small acts, such as…” 

Her mother’s words began to fade. Bernadetta could feel herself cave in, her stomach was in knots from the embarrassment this conversation was bringing her.

Her mother continued. “a less dignified lady may even attempt to pleasure herself.” She scoffed.

Bernadetta jolted. She gripped her cup and ducked her head. What did she mean by that? She thought about the times she was alone in her room. Sometimes, she would absentmindedly touch herself, in order to fall asleep. Occasionally, she’d think about the kind and gentle men in her books, her or imagination, but that all seemed so innocent. It really couldn’t be that bad. Could it? She felt her body clench, and stomach churn.

“Bernadetta! Are you even listening?!”

“Y-yes I am!” She responded, shooting her head up.

“As I was saying.” Her mother continued. “When you let a man partake in various acts with you, and defy the goddess’ teachings of purity,” She sprinkled in even more dirt. Her voice darkened. “Especially if you participate in such an act with a commoner.” She released the remaining soil, allowing the water to muck into a thick sludge. “You permanently soil the water in your your glass.” She pushed it towards Bernadetta. “So, tell me. Would you like to drink from this?”

Bernadetta shook her head. “No…”

“Precisely. If you don’t, who else would? Your virginity is a gift for your husband, do not forget that. In addition, you were lucky enough to be born with a crest, it is vital that you keep a pure noble bloodline if you want to produce legitimate children that could possibly carry your said crest.”

Bernadetta sat still, her hands clutched together in her lap, as she glanced off to the side, a single tear fell down her face.

Her mother paused, her severe features softened as she rest her hand on Bernadetta’s shoulder; just for a moment before taking it away. “I tell you this because I want you to go far in life.” She stopped herself before looking away. “To have what I could not.” She paused. “To do that, for your father and to secure a suitable husband for you, you must follow these rules. Is that understood?”

Bernadetta nodded.

“Good girl, I think this was a good talk. I’m happy to see we’ve reached an understanding.” She took another sip of her tea. “Still, I can’t ignore the goings on between you and this boy.”

“But n-nothing happened!”

“Regardless we must take precautions make sure. I’ve notified our physician to examine you tomorrow.”

“N-no please! I don’t want him to look at me!”

Bernadetta’s mother, set her cup down. Her expression was sharp. “You have nothing to fear, if you have nothing to hide. What are you not telling me?”

Bernadetta began to choke, tears fell down her cheek. “Sometimes to fall asleep…” She trembled. “I…” She couldn’t finish her sentence.

Her mother paused clenched her cup and bit her lip. She sighed, not seemingly out of anger, but disappointment.

“Please don’t tell father!”

“I will not, but understand that this is the end of those romance novels for you.” She snapped.

Bernadetta covered her face with her hands as she continued to cry.

Her mother sighed. “If you think this is humiliating, imagine how I feel trying to keep this whole situation contained. Keep this in mind Bernadetta.” She stated as she stood up and placed a hand on her shoulder. “If the goddess decides not to punish you directly, she will certainly punish those around you.”

The rest of the evening was a blur. Bernadetta didn’t eat, nor did she manage to sleep a single wink that night. Soon morning came, and Bernadetta could hear her mother talking to the physician in the other room. She clenched her sheets, her body began to tremble. She pretended to not hear her mother’s knock on the door. Kicking and screaming, with a slam of the door, She found herself alone with the doctor, trembling, shackled legs spread, followed by the painful prodding of a cold metal instrument.

______________________________________

Bernadetta opened her eyes as she gasped. It took her a moment to recognize where she was. She breathed out a sigh of relief when she realized she was back in her room at Garreg Mach.  
“You’re okay Bernie.” She whispered as she wrapped herself tighter in her blankets. Daylight broke through the windows of her room, but she paid it no mind as she turned over to go back to sleep. Maybe a good dream could make her forget.

She was interrupted by a knock on her door. She shot up, still keeping herself bundled. It couldn’t be her professor, not after what happened to Jeralt. Come to think of it, she didn’t see their professor at all, not after leaving flowers on Jeralt’s grave. Thus, the past few weeks she had been neglecting her training , which could only mean… Oh no, she thought. It had to be Ingrid.

“I can’t train today! I-I have a cold!” She said as she tried her best to muster a sniffle.

“Bern, it’s me.” Dorothea said. “Can I come in?”

“Oh! Y-yeah!”

Dorothea turned the knobs and came in, closing the door behind her. In her hands, she held a tiny glass bottle.

“I found your shade at the market.” She said as she handed it over, sitting herself down on the chair next to her. “ I figured you still needed it for… well you know” She pointed towards her neck.

“Oh yeah… that.” Bernadetta said, her cheeks flushed. She glanced over towards her mirror. Her bruise was still present, faded but still noticeable accompanied by another fresh mark.

“A new one I see? Do tell! I want to see if my assumptions of Hubie are correct!”

The heat continued to rise through her cheeks. She buried her face into her blankets before glancing back towards Dorothea, her voice muffled. “Just promise you won’t tell anyone okay?”

“My lips are sealed.” Dorothea said as she leaned into her hands, signaling for Bernadetta to tell her story.

Bernadetta recounted the past few weeks. Since, the night of the ball, she and Hubert made nighttime walks through the Monastery a regular occurrence. They often found themselves ending their evenings at the greenhouse. The first few nights, they brought things to do. She would usually bring something to embroider. Hubert on the other hand, brought one of his favorite board games. 

“I think I’ll just have my archers strike from a distance.” she said.

Hubert chuckled “I suppose you could, but I’m sure you’re familiar with the fact that their affect diminishes the further away you are.” He smirked as he rolled the dice. “Or, I could simply have my Bishop warp my strongest unit your way” He laughed as he flicked away her archer figurine. 

“Hey no fair!”

“Playing fair is for those who have no desire to win.”

“You’re mean!”

He continued to laugh as he leaned into his palm. “Is this a new revelation to you?”

His laugh still sent a chill down her spine, but its effect was not as strong as before. Seeing him smile, oddly enough, made her feel something. She wasn’t sure what it was, but it definitely was not unpleasant. She blushed as she pouted her lips.

Hubert crawled towards Bernadetta. He lowered himself before he gently lifted her chin towards his face. “If the engagements in this game are not to your liking…” he paused, then said in a lower voice “I could suggest others”

She nodded as he pulled her into the kiss. Bernadetta often found that this was her favorite part of their rendezvous. The feel of his warm soft lips, his scent, the way his fingers traced over her hips and the small of her back. She found herself relishing in every single moment. Hubert knocked away the game board, tugging her into his lap as he deepened the kiss. He took the lead, exploring her mouth with his tongue. Bernadetta reciprocated, albeit tentatively, as she pressed her hands against his chest, and wrapped her legs around his waist. He snaked his hand up her spine towards the back of her head curling fingers around her hair before pulling her head away. He then moved to her neck, allowing his breath to trail down her skin before kissing and gently nibbling it. He then moved to her most sensitive spot, just under her jaw.

Bernadetta bit her lip. She felt good. Very good. She bit down a little harder, making sure to not let another moan escape her lips. She felt her body become limp as Hubert then grazed his hand over her chest. He lingered there, caressing her for awhile, before traveling downward, until he reached the hem of her shirt. Her eyes were half lidded as she looked up at him, his gaze toeing the line between affectionate and leering. Her heart began to race as he, with care, slowly moved his hand up her stomach, under her shirt, pausing when he reached her brassiere. Before long he slid his hand over one of her breasts, massaging one of them over her undergarments. Bernadetta tensed. Her bra provided padding, but in reality, she was a bit smaller. Too small according to her father. He always did tell her he couldn’t marry her off based on her looks.

Bernadetta’s breath quickened. His touch was warm and gentle. She felt herself wanting to lean into his wandering hands, yet she was uncertain. Was this going too far? Is this what unseemly girls do? Doing stuff like this would just make her even more unmarriagable right? Her mother’s words ran amuck in her mind. Hubert felt her tense underneath him and he paused. He removed his hand from under her shirt, leaned towards her ear and whispered, his voice heavy. “Would you like me to stop?”

Bernadetta pressed herself into his chest. Her nails dug into his jacket as her body continued to tremble. “I-I don’t know.”

He pulled her in, holding her as tight as he could, his breath warm against her ear. “If you are unsure, I feel it would be best for us to stop for now.”

“O-okay.”

Hubert said nothing for awhile as he continued to hold her. Bernadetta leaned herself back and glanced upward to study his face. His brow was furrowed, his gaze focusing ahead of him. “Bernadetta.”

She jumped before ducking her head back down. “Yes?!”

Hubert sighed. Though he was used to her reactions, at this moment, seeing her cower, couldn’t help but weigh heavily on him. “There seems to be a pattern present. Though I know you can be timid, I can so far conclude-and let me know if I am mistaken- that you are enjoying yourself” He paused. “That is…until we reach a certain point, at which you seem to shut down…Is there something else I should… or perhaps… should not be doing that might help you?”

Bernadetta said nothing for awhile. She didn’t even know where to start. There was so much she wanted to tell him, but what if it seemed silly? What if her parent’s words rang true? That possibility was not something she felt prepared for. Her voice shook. “I- I’m not sure. I’ve never done anything like this before.” She paused for a few moments. “But, I am enjoying myself…This is just all very um… new.”

“I see.” He said, not satisfied by her answer. He kissed the top of her head. “Perhaps we should take this on the slower end.”

“I’d like that.” She said as she wrapped her arms around him. Nothing was said for a short while until Bernadetta nuzzled against his neck, looking up at him. “But um, you can kiss me again… O-only if you want to though!”

Hubert chuckled. “Of course.”

He gave into her request by gently planting kisses down her face and neck. She let out a small giggle as his hair brushed her face. They spent their time like this for awhile, followed by them holding each other in silence. Bernadetta yawned as she felt herself begin to doze off, her body slumped in Hubert’s arms.

“Tired are we?”

Bernadetta gave a lazy nod. “Mhm.”

“Then I suppose it is time for us to retire”

“Aw! But I’m comfy here!” She said, her voice muffled as she pressed her face into his chest.

“Is that so?” He chuckled. “Well then Lady Varley, you leave me no choice but to-“ 

Bernadetta squeaked. “Ah! Wait! W-what are you doing?!”

Hubert smirked. “Just use your imagination and I’m sure you’ll figure it out.”

He scooped her up with ease as she was so light. Bernadetta squirmed before she steadied herself, wrapping her arms around the mage, desperate to not leave his warmth. A chilly breeze hit Bernadetta’s skin, as he opened the greenhouse doors, causing goosebumps to rise. Hubert walked slower than usual. He had to admit, he wasn’t ready to see her go just yet, but  
soon enough they arrived at her room. Using his foot, Hubert pushed the doors open, and let himself in. Her room fostered a small amount of light from the still lit lantern near her desk. Her bed was unmade, but certainly cozy looking. He laid her down, as he stood, stroking her hair as she looked up at him, eyes wide. She continued to cling onto him for a minute or so before finally letting go.

“There, that wasn’t such an ordeal now was it?” Hubert mused.

“I guess not.” She giggled.

Hubert felt something leap in his chest. There was something about her tiny laugh that did that to him. He straightened himself, before he covered her in her blankets, kissed her cheek, and blew out her lantern.

“You really don’t have to do all that if you don’t want to.” Bernadetta said.

“It’s my pleasure to serve you.” He said as he sat back down at the edge of her bed kissing her one more time, before taking his leave. “Until tomorrow Lady Varley.”

______________________________________

Dorothea leaned further into her hands, her faced beaming. “I knew it! I just knew Hubie had a soft side to him.” She paused glancing upward. “Though, I’d always figured he had feelings towards Edie.”

“Well they’ve been friends for forever, he said he has deep reverence for her, but not in a romantic way.” 

“Huh, who knew?” Dorothea shrugged.

They were interrupted by a knock on the door.

“Ugh! Ferdinand, I swear if-“ Dorothea flung open the door only to see Hubert on the other side, arms crossed, his face stern.

Before the two of them could speak Hubert stated. “Lady Edelgard has informed the professor of Monica’s whereabouts. With some reluctance, the church of Seiros is allowing us to partake in battle. Hurry to ready yourselves, we must not waste time.”

“U-um” Bernadetta’s voice shook.

“Bernadetta, now is not the time to second guess. We leave within the hour.” Hubert declared as he shut the door.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here we go! 
> 
> This was a difficult chapter to write, as I wanted to make Bernie's experience as close as possible to what I and many other girls grew up with. I ended up taking a trip down memory lane and ended up pulling out some old purity movement teachings that my religious school taught me. 
> 
> While I was lucky enough to not have a forced pelvic exam, it is still a thing that does happen. A lot of times, girls are forced by their parents. (Look at how T.I took his daughter the gynecologist every year to "check her virginity" for a recent example)
> 
> Btw the hymen being intact or even being present at all has nothing to do with virginity. Thanks for coming to my TedTalk.
> 
> Anyhow, I hope you all enjoy this! Bernie's still learning and she will continue to learn and grow. :)


	3. Blood Soaked Grounds

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Black Eagles and Byleth go off to battle Monica, Both Hubert and Bernadetta struggle to survive.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello everyone! I apologize that this has taken so long. Life for the past few months has been very busy with my client work and prepping for conventions, that I only had time to work on this in small increments. This chapter was initially much longer, but I have divided it into two chapters due to its length. I'm wrapping that portion up so hopefully it will be done soon! :) 
> 
> Thank you so much for your patience! <3

Bernadetta marched a couple of units behind Hubert, quiet as a mouse, knees trembling. Such a reaction was routine before their battles, but this one, in particular, especially, made her stomach churn. The sense of danger creeped over her, causing her breath to quicken. Who, no, _what_ they were fighting was something else entirely. She glanced past Hubert, over towards Edelgard and their professor. Byleth marched with intent, their grip tight around the Sword of the Creator, their gaze concentrated and fiery. They were always focused before charging into a fight, but this was different. It was raw, almost monstrous.

She resisted running to Hubert, to hide behind him and hold his hand, but she steadied herself. Though Edelgard and Dorothea knew of their budding relationship, the rest of their classmates, nor their professor, had no idea. She thought back to earlier in the day, shortly before they left. Hubert had pulled her aside behind the dormitories, his brow furrowed. “Bernadetta, there is something I must discuss with you.”

She tensed, her thumbs twiddling as she looked up towards him. “Y-yes?”

Hubert sighed. “I’ll be frank with you. I think it would be best for us to not be in each other’s company when we embark on these missions.”

Bernedatta jolted, her eyes widened, her lips quivered. “W-wait! Why?” She ducked her head. Her mind started racing. _Was he breaking up with her? Is that what this was!?_ “I get it. You just don’t want to be seen with me right?!” She sniffled. “I’m just… just." _What did Dorothea say some Noble referred to her as?_ She paused before looking back up towards Hubert. “A side piece!” She exclaimed as pointed her finger towards him. “That’s what I am to you am I?!” Her eyes began to water. “Stupid stupid Bernie, you should’ve known better!” She choked out, grasping at her hair.

“Bernadetta you misunderstand me. ” Hubert exhaled. “Let me clarify.” He said as he rest his hands on her shoulders. He could feel her shaking under his fingers. He debated pulling her in, holding her until she calmed down, but he feared her reaction to such a sudden movement. Instead, he searched carefully for his words, as to not upset her further. “It is not that I do not enjoy your company…In fact, I would say it is rather the opposite. However…” He paused. His gaze grew dark. “ I fear that if our enemy observes how we interact together, they may set their sights on one of us to demoralize the other. Which in turn could cause either…or one of us to react irrationally… An irrational opponent is a vulnerable one.”

Bernadetta felt her face heat all the way to her ears. _Of course he had a normal reason. Why are you like this Bernie? Why do you have to overreact. You're stupid Bernie! You're so so stupid!_

She wiped her eyes waiting a bit to process Huberts words before saying. “Oh… So you’re afraid of how I might react if you get hurt?”

Hubert tilted Bernadetta’s chin upward “Yes.” His eyes darted to the side. “How you might react.” He said as he planted a tender kiss on her lips. “Now let’s depart before someone notices we are missing.”

A rough thud into Byleth’s back, brought Bernadetta back to reality. “Oh! S-sorry Professor!” She stammered. Byleth didn’t say a word, they stood in place, clutching their sword, their stance firm and grounded. A quick glance of her surroundings made Bernadetta realize they had reached the edge of the forest. The brush was dense and dark, yet not a single sound emanated from it, the chirps of wildlife eerily absent.

Bernadetta’s hands trembled as she readied her bow. There was no turning back now at this point. Hubert motioned his fingers, signaling everyone to go in an individualized direction. They all crept through the brush, silent and with caution, until they reached a clearing. Hubert held his hand back motioning Bernadetta to remain stationary in the bushes. He glanced back at her, his stern expression softened as they made eye contact. He inhaled as he chastised himself at his lack of self control. “I’ll need you to stay here.” Hubert said, maintaining a serious demeanor in his voice before walking off.

Bernadetta nodded, and also couldn’t help but breathe out a sigh of relief as she ducked behind the bushes. She was just about as safe as one could be, on the battlefield at least. She peeked through the foliage of her hiding place watching the rest of her classmates march forward. Everyone remained silent. Hubert alone gestured their party, all without emanating a single sound.

The thick silence was cut through by the deafening noise of roaring in the distance. Everyone jerked their heads around, towards the sound’s direction. Edelgard stopped herself, before pointing ahead towards strange silhouettes that began to make themselves more apparent in the distance. “Look there! Demonic beasts. I suppose they aren’t holding back!”

She was soon cut off by the sound of hysterical laughter as a figure approached into their line of sight. “Hello! You're here! Welcome to the forest of death!”

Bernadetta jumped. It was Monica, crouched over, with a knife in hand. However, something was off about her. She continued to giggle. “My name is Kronya. This weakling girl was just a borrowed look for me.” The girl’s color began to drain, her body moving in an unnatural way.

Bernadetta tensed. She fought getting sick on the spot as she watched her frame twist and contort until the remnants of her old appearance fell away. In her place, stood a strange woman with orange hair, deathly pale skin and blood red eyes. She cackled as she said. “This is what I really look like! Now, you vermin... I'll take down every last one of you!”

Everyone positioned themselves, readying their weapons as they noticed units and more demonic beasts come out from the shadows, storming their way. “Everyone in position!” Edelgard commanded.

They all charged forward, humans and beasts alike. The air, was soon enveloped in smoke as fire and poison breathing demonic beasts stormed the battlefield. The ground preceded to become soaked with fresh blood as weapons clashed and made contact with skin. The crisp air turned ripe with the smell of copper, sweat, and burning flesh.

Bernadetta scrunched her nose as she ducked back down into the brush, trying to stay hidden, shooting her arrows towards any enemy unit within her range. Her entire being shook, yet she managed to keep herself steady as bodies piled around her. She found herself distracted by something small and shiny poking out from a small satchel in one of the fallen soldiers hand; a half used vial of vulnerary. She snuck just outside of her spot, barely out of sight from her opponents. “You can never have too much of this.” She said to herself as, with tentative fingers, she pried it from its leather lodgings before repositioning herself back into her hiding place, eyeing the battlefield, looking out to make sure no one got too close.

Her eyes scanned the surrounding area, checking to see if anyone needed her assistance. Their professor seemed perfectly capable as Bernadetta watched Byleth slice through each foe around them without much effort, with Edelgard by their side also doing the same. That was unsurprising of course, the two of them were a force to be reckoned with. She then found Dorothea, Petra, Ferdinand, Lindhart, and Caspar, all fighting with a similar fervor.

All say Hubert, who she soon realized was not in her line of vision.

Her heartbeat quickened as her eyes darted through the battlefield searching for him. The ever thickening smoke from surrounding Demonic Beasts blew her way, clouding her vision. Her eyes and lungs burned, but she managed to keep her gaze focused, still finding no trace of him. Her ears perked as she heard the sound of a heavy axe, striking… something. She wasn’t sure what, but she knew it was too close for comfort.

“Damn!” A voice shrieked through the smog.

Bernadetta jumped as she jerked her head around, recognizing Huberts voice. “Hubert!” She called, searching for any physical trace of him. Within moments, she made out his tall silhouette through the smoke, limping as he held his bleeding thigh. He spotted Bernadetta, wincing as he struggled to make way into her line of sight. Bernadetta’s gaze shifted to another figure quickly approaching behind him.

“Behind you!” She shouted.

Hubert turned only to find the same burly soldier with an axe take another swing at him, this time landing a hit on his left shoulder, knocking him to the ground. The axe tore through his clothing, and cut deep into his flesh. He let out an ugly shriek, a sound she never knew he could make.

“Hubert!” Bernadetta screamed as she aimed her bow. The man was just out of her range but she had to do something. She ran from her shelter before pulling the string of her bow back and letting go. She held her breath as she watched the arrow fly and go through the man’s neck. He fell to the ground meeting a quick death, allowing Hubert to crawl towards Bernadetta. She met him half way and lifted him up, supporting him on her shoulder as she guided him back to her foliage shelter.

Hubert recoiled as she sat him down. His wounds were grievous, deep and bleeding profusely. His pale skin looked even more sallow from the blood loss. Bernadetta scrambled for the vial of vulnerary and held it to his lips, forcing him to drink every last drop. Within minutes his bleeding slowed, but his wounds were still severe. “Go fetch Lindhart.” He said through gritted teeth, as he helped her apply pressure to his wounds. Bernadetta attempted to lift him up by his good shoulder.

“No. I’ll hinder you in my state.” Hubert stated.

“B-but I can’t just leave you here! Not when you can’t defend yourself.”

“Bernadetta plea—“

“I won’t leave you behind!” Her voice shook.

“Bernadetta, need I remind of what we discussed earlier. Our current situation is even more precarious.”

Bernadetta released her grip, though the thought of leaving Hubert made her uneasy, she understood what she needed to do. She took a deep breath. “Okay Bernie you can do this.” She whispered to herself before she took off into the field. The smoke was more dense than before rendering her unable to see much. Her lungs started to burn, as she involuntarily coughed. Her knuckles bone white clinging her bow, aching as she whipped her head in every direction to find Lindhart. She called out his name multiple times to no avail.

She continued to run, still barely able to see anything in front of her, using only her ears to figure out where enemies could possibly be. She knew Lindhart would most likely be away from the action, so a quieter place would be the best place to start. She called out for him again only to find herself jump when she heard Kronya’s voice.

“Huh? What are you- Are you here to kill me?!”

“I am.” Edelgard’s voice cut in. “Prepare yourself for death while you still can.”

Bernadetta's breath hitched as she paused. Did she hear what she think she just heard? _The way Kronya spoke, it almost sounded like… No_. It probably was just something just said in the moment. It was nothing. She had to be overthinking this. _Edelgard couldn’t know her right?_

A whiz of an arrow past her ear brought her back as she turned to find a figure rushing towards her. Bernadetta let out a squeak before she bolted again into thicker smog, this time unable to see anything at all.

“Lindhart!” She screamed for him again, her voice becoming hoarse from the smoke.

She continued to run as the ground became uneven underneath her, causing her to lose her footing. Bernadetta slammed into the ground, knocking the wind right out of her. She gasped scrambling to stand back up only to be kicked back down to the ground by another soldier with a dagger. He hoisted himself top of her, one hand on her neck, the other clenching his dagger over her. Bernadetta squirmed under his grip, gasping for air, trying to knock the weapon away. She kicked his crotch, causing him to recoil as he lunged his knife forward, missing her chest, and slicing her arm instead. His grip tightened on her throat as he pulled back to make another attempt. Bernadetta continued to pry his hand away to no avail, each attempt weaker than the last. Her legs slackened under her as as she soon found herself unable to move at all. Her vision began to fade, her surroundings melting away as she began to float into a void. She blinked, finding herself back at house Varley, her father’s hands gripped around her throat, her mothering screaming as her body became even more limp and useless. This was it. She thought. Death was to come. Her legacy as the Recluse of House Varley had finally reached its end. Her eyes became heavy, just about to close before she noticed a dark figure encroaching her father followed by a flash of purple light.

Bernadetta’s eyes widened as she gasped which was soon followed by a fit coughing. She continued swallow air until her eyesight returned to normal. The man on top of her was charred crisp beside her with Hubert standing over him, his eyes wild, his posture hunched over, clenching his shoulder once more. He stumbled to his knees, nearly falling onto her, curling into himself in as he leaned over Bernadetta. His breath was shallow, his skin sheet white. It took Bernadetta a moment to realize the dagger she tried to escape earlier was sticking out of him. He yanked it from his shoulder, stared down at her, giving her a lazy pained grin before he muttered something unintelligible and collapsed on top of her. She attempted to scream out his name, but found that nothing could leave her.

Her arm felt like it was on fire. She glanced towards it, noticing the skin around her cut slowly eating away. The dagger was clearly poisoned. Bernadetta’s chest began to feel tight as she found herself struggle to breathe again. Her vision began to darken as she struggled to keep her eyes open. She held on to Hubert as her vision began to darken, clinging to the warmth of his bloody body until everything went black.

_________________________________

Bernadetta awoke with the worst headache she had ever experienced in her life. The light pouring into the room was blinding as she found herself reaching for the blankets to cover her face. She flinched as she did so, looking down at her arm which was wrapped in gauze. The rest of her body was sore and stinging all over, covered in various bandages and bruises. She reached out for her bear, but found he was not in his spot. It took her a minute to realize that she wasn’t in her room, but instead, lying in a cot in the infirmary. She rolled her head to the right, away from the sunlight to see a pile of stuff accumulated on the night table, consisting of cute stuffed animals, handmade cards and chocolates, all with tags from her classmates, all except Hubert.

_Wait! Hubert!_ Everything that had transpired washed over her. His injuries, the dagger, the blood pouring from his wounds as he yanked it from him. Her heart raced, and her breathing became erratic. Was he okay? She remembered his bloody body slumped over her, looking no different from the dead around them… _Oh no._ Every part of her clenched. _What if he?_ Her racing thoughts were interrupted by the sound of rustling sheets. She jumped, turning her head towards the source of the noise, to find Hubert asleep in the adjacent cot next to her, his body wrapped in gauze. He appeared to still be asleep, albeit not comfortably. Bernadetta couldn’t help but lean her head back to breathe out a sigh of relief.

She shuddered upon examining him more closely. His bandages looked freshly soaked through, his remaining bits of exposed skin were white, with no hint of color. He looked awful. Bernadetta attempted to sit up only to find her head spinning followed by a sudden collapse back into her pillows. She groaned as she felt her stomach become unsettled. Whatever this poison was that afflicted the two of them, seemed to have a lasting effect.

Her ears perked to the click clack of heels walking towards the room. Manuela strut in, carrying a myriad of bandages and vials of varying nature. “Oh!” She said as she rushed to her bedside. “You’re awake.”

Manuela eased Bernadetta upright propping her up with more pillows and changed her bandages, looking over the wound on her arm. Bernadetta took in its appearance. The immediate surrounding skin near the wound was flaky, with a sick grayish purple hue, followed by a ring of red irritation. She found that it didn’t hurt too bad, and she soon realized why, as she watched Manuela apply a numbing concoction to a rag before rubbing it up her arm. She finished in a timely manner, redressing the wound before pulling away the sheets to examine the rest of Bernadetta’s injuries, treating them in a similar way.

She then moved upward, lifting Bernadetta’s chin to examine her neck. She shook her head as she bit her lip. “Goodness look at those bruises, it makes me so sad to see such beautiful skin like that blemished.

“I-I’m sorry!” She squeaked as she looked away. She cringed as she did so. Though she understood Manuela’s words meant no harm, they couldn’t help but remind her of her mother.

“You have no reason to apologize dear.” Manuela said, sensing the girl’s unease as she observed her avoiding eye contact. She was quiet for awhile, as she applied another mystery ointment to Bernadetta’s neck. “Under normal circumstances…” She said as she continued with her treatment. “I would say to go out and give that coward what he deserves, but…” She glanced towards him. “It looks like Hubert took care of that for you.” She said with a wink. The physician glanced back over to Hubert and observed “I have to say, I’m impressed, I figured Hubert would only show that level of compassion for Edelgard.”

Bernadetta’s eyes shot back towards Hubert still unconscious. “I-Is he going to be okay?” Her voice trembled.

“Don’t worry. He may have been tussled around a bit, but he will be fine… He just will be… out of commission per say for a little while. Those wounds he has are quite the nasty ones.” She stood up. “Speaking of… I better re dress those bandages of his. In the meantime, I want you to rest up. It may take a night or two for that poison to leave your system.” She said as she removed the extra pillows, helping Bernadetta lay back down into a more comfortable position.

Bernadetta watched Manuela as she made her way to Hubert’s bedside. She stared as she pulled his blankets back, and removed the gauze wrapped around his body. Much like herself, he was covered in various cuts and bruises, albeit deeper and more pronounced. She examined what she could make out of his exposed skin, his arms especially. She always knew he was on the slimmer side, but she was surprised to see that his arms still had a decent amount of muscle to them. Minus his injuries, it certainly wasn’t a bad sight. She fought the rising heat in her cheeks as her eyes continued to wonder to what she could make out of his chest. She couldn't help but let out a frustrated sigh as Manuela blocked her line of sight. When she finally moved, she noticed that he appeared to be relatively toned there as well, not chiseled by any means, but pronounced. She wondered what his skin would feel like under her hands. Was he warm, or was his chest as icy as his fingertips? Her mind then wandered to… other things, how his skin would feel pressed up against hers, the weight of his body on top of her. _No! Stop it Bernie._ She thought to herself as the heat rose to her ears _You shouldn’t be thinking things like that. That’s what desperate improper girls do._ Her mother’s voice echoed in her mind.

She felt her stomach become uneasy again as Manuela removed the larger bandages piece by piece. From what she could make out, his injuries made hers look tame in comparison, his shoulder especially, from both the axe and poisoned knife. She knew Manuela said he’d be alright, but with gashes like that, there was no way he could heal completely without some scarring at least, not to mention damage to his mobility.

Bernadetta felt a knot form in her throat as she tried to hold back her tears. Her body shook. She did this to him. If she had run off for help when she was supposed to and hadn’t hesitated, he wouldn’t have ever found himself in this position to begin with. She jumped when she heard Manuela let out a chuckle.

“Bernadetta I know it’s tempting, but don’t you think it’s probably just a little unfair to stare at someone who can’t stare back?”

Bernadetta squeaked. “I-I didn’t mean to!” She attempted to hide her face under the covers.

Manuela laughed. “Oh think nothing of it, I was only teasing you know.” She wrapped up her work before grabbing another vial and pouring a few drops of its contents into a glass of water. “However, if you’re finding yourself_ too_ distracted at the moment, I’d drink this.” She said as she passed the glass towards her. Bernadetta complied and, with assistance leaned in as Manuela held the glass to her face. She laid back down, feeling her shoulders relax minutes afterwards, followed by the rest of her muscles. It was an odd sensation. She never recalled her muscles feeling this… loose? Is that what she was feeling? She wondered as her eyelids became heavy as she found herself beginning to drift.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> And here we go! I promise the next chapter will be more cuddly. ;) Also while at this point in time I don't have an official schedule for this per say I will bring it to a finish, I'm still planning out the chapters, but I will continue working on this. 
> 
> Once again thank you so much for your patience! I will definitely post more soon!


	4. On The Precipice

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Bernadetta and Hubert spend the night together in the Infirmary. Hubert makes a difficult decision.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys! I had realized I had uploaded the wrong version of this chapter, so I just went ahead and fixed that. :)

Bernadetta felt the warmth of Hubert’s body press up against her back. He idly played with her hair before leaning into her locks, his breath trailing her ear. She shivered as she felt his hand snake up her thigh, gently squeezing at her fleshier areas. She laid still, pliant, savoring his touch as his hand continued traveled up her body over her stomach, lingering there for a few moments, until he reached her breasts, cupping one in his hand before moving to the other. Come to think of it, she wasn’t sure where her clothes were, nor did she care. 

“Bernadetta.” Was all he could manage to say as Hubert kissed her neck. He did so for awhile before flipping her to her back, his eyes trailing her body. She found herself avoiding his gaze, as she could feel him eying her up and down. She squeezed her eyes shut, only to relax them slightly when she felt his warm breath just by her ear. He leaned in and whispered “No need to hide away from me.” He gently coaxed her head back to face him him. “You are beautiful.” 

Bernadetta opened her eyes to look up towards him. His expression was warm and gentle, his angular features less pronounced. The corners of his mouth upturned into a soft smile.

“You- you really think so?” She asked, her voice timid and shaky.

He chuckled, pressing his forehead against hers . “You know I’m not one for flattery.” He said flatly as he lowered his lips to hers. He kissed her for a while, his tongue dancing over her own before moving down once more to her neck. Bernadetta felt herself grow warmer, she fidgeted her legs, squeezing them together, not before Hubert rest his hand in between her thighs, teasing her to open them.

“What is this here? He said with a sly grin. “Do we need some help?” He asked.

The question given made her heart race. Of course Bernadetta knew what she wanted, but found embarrassment kept her words from leaving her. All she could do was tentatively shake her head yes. 

Hubert chuckled. “Oh come now, don’t be shy.” His expression changed to a smirk. “I want to hear you say it.”

Bernadetta laid there eyes wide. Her lips trembled as she tried to get her words out. “I-“ She paused for a moment. “I want you to t-touch me.” 

“And where would you like me to do that Lady Varley?

Now her entire face felt hot. She couldn’t believe what she was about to say to him. “D-down there.” Her voice squeaked.

“With pleasure.” Was all he said before he moved his hand downward. His hands trailed over her stomach, moving south at an almost achingly slow pace. They continued to travel until he reached her folds, his long fingers curled in, caressing her sensitive skin. Bernadetta shuddered from the sensation as she reached towards him pulling him in as tight as she could, her arms wrapping around him, her nails digging into his back. 

Hubert jumped as goosebumps rose up his arms. His voice shook. “Bernadetta.”

* * *

Bernadetta opened her eyes, gasping, not finding Hubert on top of her, but to moon beams pouring through the windows in the infirmary. She cringed as the heat of embarrassment and shame rose throughout her body. She hadn’t had a dream like that in a long time, and when she did it was usually over the princes and knights from her books. Never over someone she knew in real life. She felt as though she was losing control. _Get ahold of yourself Bernie_. She scolded.

“Bernadetta.” Hubert’s voice called out, sounding much the same as he did in her dream.

She froze, realizing that it was actually his voice she responded in such a way to. _Oh no_… She knew she said things during her dream… things that were… dirty and unladylike. Definitely something an unmarriageable girl would say. She was often told by her mother that she would talk in her sleep. Which meant he had to have heard everything! She just knew it.

“Bernadetta.”

“Y-yes?!” She stuttered.

“My apologies. Did I wake you from a deep sleep? He said, his voice strained.

“No…” She lied. “Not really.”

“I see. Thats a relief.” Hubert shuffled under his sheets for a few moments before he huffed and turned his head towards her. “Bernadetta. It pains me to ask but…” He said with an exasperated sigh. “If you could be so kind, could you fetch me some water? I attempted to do so multiple times but it seems this poison has rendered me useless.”

“I-I’ll try, but I was in the same boat earlier.” She said. 

It took her about a minute, or so, to sit herself up straight, she was dizzy and nauseous, like she was earlier, but less severe. She stopped herself before pulling back her sheets, considering the state of undress Hubert was in, there was no telling what she looked like. She peeked under the covers, relieved to see that she was wearing her normal sleepwear, her favorite cotton nightgown. No doubt Dorothea gathered it for her. She sat there for a minute or so, trying to gain her bearings before shifting herself around to the edge of her cot, dangling her feet just above the floor. It felt like forever, but eventually they made contact with the cold stone below her. 

She leaned onto the bedside table as she stood, trying to gain some sense of balance.

“If it is too much of a struggle, perhaps we should summon Manuela.” Hubert said.

“No, I’m already here so I might as well.” 

Bernadetta took in a few deep breaths, allowing her nausea to subside before she staggered to the other side of the room to grab the pitcher. Once she poured the water into the glass, she shuffled towards Hubert, nearly collapsing into the chair next to his cot, taking a few seconds to steady herself before using her good arm to help prop him up, her other hand shakily holding the glass. Hubert leaned into her until the water touched his lips. His sips were greedy and sloppy, with water dripping down his chin.

Hubert laid back down into his pillows letting out a grunt. “Look at us. We’re both helpless as infants.” He attempted to chuckle, but flinched as he did so, finding that it irritated his wounds.

Bernadetta bit her lip seeing the pain in his face. Her eyes then traveled to look at his body, still covered in gauze and bandages. Despite Manuela changing them earlier she didn’t expect his injuries to still look this… gruesome. Parts of his exposed skin were discolored, littered with cuts and scratches, his skin still sallow and bruised. She felt her lip quiver seeing him in such a state, a state that her recklessness had put him in. She ducked her head down, fighting to keep away her tears to no avail. Hubert looked over at her, his face puzzled.

“Come now Bernadetta. You must know I was making jest.”

Bernadetta kept her head where it was, clasping her fists on her lap as tears fell from her eyes landing on her thigh.

“I- I know. It’s just…”

“Just what?”

Bernadetta lifted her legs into the chair, curling herself into a little ball. Her voice began to crack as she sniffled. “I-I’m so so so sorry! I know you must be so mad at me! I’d understand if you’d never wanted to speak to me ever again!”

“I wasn’t aware that I was supposed to be angry, nor do I know what you’re even apologizing for.” He said in a flat matter of fact tone.

“This… all of this is my fault!” She said, her voice muffled by her lap.

Hubert sighed, his tone was strained. “Bernadetta.”

Bernadetta jerked her head back up. “No!” She cut him off. “If I had just listened to you and not hesitated and just got help, you wouldn’t have gotten this hurt!” She reached for her scalp and balled her hair in her fists, pulling at it until it stung. “Stupid stupid useless Bernie!”

“Bernadetta!” He snapped. His inflection was sharp.

Bernadetta jumped, not anticipating his tone. She gulped as the rest of her body shook. “N-now you’re angry! I-I’m sorry!”

Hubert exhaled, his mood growing more somber seeing her cower before him. He was tired, his muscles ached, and his wounds burned. Under such circumstances it was no wonder he was more irritable than usual. Still, he scolded himself for addressing her the way he just did. “No, I’m not upset with you in the slightest.” He whispered in an attempt to calm her. There was a pause before he said. “Bernadetta take a look at the table next to your bed.”

She did as she was told, taking in the pile of plushes, chocolates, and handmade cards that were piled on top of each other. Come to think, it actually looked a little bigger than before. She couldn’t help but let out a tiny smile. Her classmates really were so kind her, undeservingly so, she felt.

“Now look at mine.” Hubert said.

She glanced over at his, and her face fell once she realized his table only held a single vase of flowers and a small bag of coffee beans. The flowers from Edelgard. The coffee from their professor.

“I hope you now know that losing you would’ve have been a devastating blow…” He stopped himself, his gaze shifted to the side. “For everyone.” He laid silent again before saying. “Under no circumstances was I going to let you leave that battle not alongside us.”

Bernadetta teared up once more, touched by his words, yet saddened to see that he did not receive the same treatment a her.

“I was hoping that would alleviate things, but it looks like I was mistaken.” Hubert said sighing once more.

“No no it’s not that. I-I’m fine. ” Bernadetta said wiping away her tears, as she shifted herself in her chair, leaning in close to him, she took his hand in hers and gently squeezed it.

Hubert glanced back towards her. Her hair was tousled, arms and legs covered in bandages. Her silhouette was haloed by the moonlight pouring through the windows. His breath hitched upon seeing the curves of her body show through her nightgown. His throat began to feel dry. He wasn’t one to shower compliments, but she looked simply breathtaking. 

His gaze halted when he saw her neck, and the black bruises wrapped around it. In that instant, he felt blood begin to boil. Of course he knew war meant things like this would happen, but still the thought of what was done to her took him to the darker recesses of his mind. He thought back to how he killed that man, how the life drained from his eyes as he sunk his own knife into Hubert’s flesh, only to realize it was futile. Despite the pain he relished watching the look of horror on his face as the man slumped over, charred to a crisp.

“Um…Hubert?” Bernadetta interrupted. Her cheeks a slight shade of pink.

He came back to reality, realizing his gaze had been locked on her a bit too long for comfort. “Forgive me. I was just merely thinking of how delighted I’d be to kill that fool over again.” He said grazing her knuckles with his thumb.

“U-um that’s pretty dark!” Her voice squeaked.

“And this is shocking how?”

“I guess you do have a point.” She said, taking a moment to study his face, he, somehow, had managed to let a smile crack through. It brought a shiver up her spine, but it was far from unpleasant. She waited a moment before she leaned in to kiss him. Still, even with the current circumstances she found herself becoming lost in his scent. Did he just always smell like cinnamon, coffee and cloves? She was surprised by how quickly he took over, despite him not being able to move much in his cot. Without realizing, her hand began to ghost down from his face, past his neck to his chest, that is until she accidentally grazed over one of his wounds, He winced, and She yanked her hand back, face red at the realization of her actions.

“S-sorry! I’ I didn’t mea-”

“Perhaps it is time to reapply more of that numbing concoction?”

“Should I go get Manuela?

“There’s no need, besides, now that I think of it, given the current hour, I’m not sure how comfortable I’d be letting her handle me in a drunken stupor. ”

“Does that mean you want me to do it?”

“If you are comfortable doing such a thing.”

Bernadetta felt her face grow hotter. It wasn’t that she couldn’t do it. She had helped patch up her classmates a number of times during their training sessions, albeit, sometimes to get out of it. But those were minor bodily injuries that did not involve her touching the shirtless chest of Hubert Von Vestra. She felt her heart try to leap from her chest at the thought, followed by a nasty knot in her stomach. What was wrong with her? She had always been able to contain feelings like this, now she felt like the tiniest things about Hubert, whether it was his musk, arms, voice or anything really, caused her to lose her composure. Still, what could she do? It wasn’t like Hubert could patch himself up.

“Y-yes!” She squeaked before hurrying to the cabinet, realizing that her dizziness was outmatched by whatever else this was.

She took her time to look over the vials, making sure she retrieved the right medicines from the sea of various bottles and vials

She closed the cabinet, catching her reflection in the glass. Manuela was right. The bruises around her neck really did look awful. She felt her palms begin to sweat and her heart race, the way the fingerlike bruises wrapped around her looked so familiar… like the day after her father…

She dropped a vial, causing it to shatter, its contents absorbing into the small carpet she was standing on. 

“Bernadetta! Are you alright?”

“It’s okay!” She took in a deep breath. “I…” She paused. “I’m okay.”

She picked out another vial before shuffling over with an armful of gauze and the concoction to his bedside table, stopping herself as she glanced over at Hubert.

“U-um… How do you want me to do this?” She stuttered, wringing her hands together.

“Well I suppose pulling back the sheets would be a start.”

“O-okay.” She took a deep breath, as she, with care, peeled away the blankets, her eyes running up and down his chest to take in the task before her. Her face growing even warmer at the sight. Despite the bandages covering him, it did not detract from his lean figure. His thin frame, like his arms, was surprisingly toned, clearly as a result of his lance training. She thought he looked good from a distance, but up close his features were overwhelmingly handsome. Bernadetta could feel herself practically overheat. She bit down on her lip in response. _Stop it Bernie, before you make him uncomfortable. Get ahold of yourself and just focus on his injuries_. She scolded as she unwrapped the gauze.

“Why Bernadetta.” Hubert said sporting a sly grin. “If I didn’t know any better I’d say you were making eyes towards your patient. How unprofessional.” He teased.

Bernadetta jumped, dropping the gauze in her hands. She ducked her head down before covering her beet red face with her hands. “S-sorry!” She stammered. She shook her head as she grasped her hair. “Ah! You must think I’m such a freak!”

“Not at all. I simply find it amusing. Are you enjoying the view?” 

Bernadetta kept her face covered, muffling her voice with her hands. She wanted to crawl under a rock and hide there for forever. Could he just stop asking her such questions? “What do you think?!” She whined.

He attempted to chuckle once more, only to recoil in pain again. “Bernadetta. If you don’t mind.”

“Right! Sorry!” She jumped, leaning over to pick up the gauze.

Bernadetta glanced over him once more. This time slightly more composed, figuring out where she should start. She honed in on his shoulder. Judging his limited movements, it seemed that was bothering him the most. She held her breath as she, with considerable care and gentleness, unwrapped each layer of cloth, finding each layer more blood-soaked than the last.

His skin, like her arm was flaky and irritated near the initial wound, which looked even more ghastly. Bernadetta was usually not squeamish when it came to blood and other various injuries, but the sight of Hubert’s made her want to gag. Still, she had a job to do. She took the numbing concoction, soaking a rag in it before dabbing it on his skin.

The initial sting caused Hubert to recoil as he grit his teeth, but within minutes the ointment took its effect. Bernadetta continued her work, cleaning, applying the concoction, wrapping and re-wrapping fresh gauze until he was sufficiently covered. In fact, she did just as good a job as Manuela. She cocked her head to the side, her face pensive.

“Is something the matter?” Hubert asked.

“No, it’s just- hang on a second!“ She said tearing away a fresh piece of gauze, tying it together until it resembled a small flower. She took a pin and attached it to the bandages on his chest. “There!” She said, beaming. 

Hubert lift his brow. “And this will do what exactly? 

“Well, um, I just figured since you didn’t have as many gifts as me that you could use another one.” She said, twiddling her fingers.

Hubert felt his heart skip in his chest. He felt a knot form in his throat he was truly lost for words. His silence closed in on Bernadetta. Stupid Bernie. What was that? A flower? Like he would want something like that. Why do you always have to ruin everything?

"B-but if you don't like it I can always remove it." She continued

Hubert couldn't help but smile. “That is unnecessary, I appreciate the gesture.”

Bernadetta breathed out a sigh of relief. “ Phew. I-I’m glad.”

The two sat in silence for a few moments before Hubert glanced back her way. The cold crisp air started to give him goosebumps. Bernadetta noticed.

“Are you cold?”

“Yes, just a bit.”

“Do you need me to pull up your blankets?”

“You could. He said in a mischievous tone. “Or you could lie next to me if you like.” He said with a slight smirk.

The idea gave her pause. Something like that seemed so improper… and exciting? She climbed into the bed and cuddled up next to him, quicker than she would like to admit, curling herself into a ball, laying her head by his. It was in this moment that she realized she had never laid in bed with someone else before, with the exception of her mother when she was little. She knew married couples in her books slept in the same bed together, but it was something she never witnessed in person. Her parents had slept in separate rooms for as long as she could remember. 

It was almost clinical how She and Hubert were lying next to each other, him lying straight and stiff on his back, her coiled up next to him, nuzzling his neck. But then again, Hubert’s injuries presented them with no other option. Besides, this was comfortable, safe, and, under no circumstances was she disappointing the goddess lying with him like this, right? 

Hubert leaned away a bit then chuckled.“Hm …Not the reaction I was expecting.”

Bernadetta shot up, her eyes wide as she shot a glance at him, “W-what do you mean??” Her mind began to race. Was that the wrong thing to do? Did she look too eager? She shot a glance back down at Hubert, his face both a mixture of sheepish and satisfied.

Her shoulders relaxed. “Wait so y-you were teasing me again!” Two could play at that game, she decided to play along.“W- well then I won’t give you the satisfaction and go back to my cot!”

He chuckled. “Oh come now Bernadetta. There’s no need for that.”

She lied back down, her lips pouting.

“That was easy.” He mused. “Are you comfortable?”

She nodded. “Y-you?”

“As comfortable as one could be in my condition yes.”

They laid silent for a few moments. Bernadetta snuggled against his good shoulder nuzzling further into the crook of his neck, her eyes half lidded. Though she was content like this, part of her hated to admit that she chose her new position partly because it gave her a better view of his chest. She let out a quiet sigh, hoping Hubert didn’t notice.Of course he did. Hubert leaned into her hair, satisfaction spelled out on his face. He wasn’t use to having his ego stroked in such a way. He had to admit he was enjoying it greatly. “Staring again are we?”

Bernadetta tensed, her eyes widened as she gripped at her gown. “U-um!”

Hubert chuckled again, this time a little deeper. Her reactions were adorable but they couldn’t help but weigh heavy. He did not know much, but from what little Edelgard had told him, she had a complicated home life to say the very the least. He knew of Count Varley’s pious ways. In fact, he remembered his father scolding him for rolling his eyes during one of his long winded prayers. He didn’t recall the church having such strong views on sexuality and propriety, but then again, he was never devout.

Bernadetta laid still for a moment buried her face into his hair, her voice muffled. “You don’t think it’s weird that I… um… like to look at you?”

“It is unusual seeing as…and no, that was not a pun…that I am used to most people averting their gaze away from me, as opposed to fixing it on myself specifically. Tell me though why would you regard it as weird?

She said nothing for a moment as she tried to find her words, twiddling her fingers before saying. “I was told girls weren’t supposed to, um, notice things like that… you know… the way boys do.”

Hubert clenched his jaw. He wondered what she had been told to make her to feel shame over something so natural. He dared not ask her now, not wanting to cause her anymore undue anxiety.

“Hmph. The way boys do.” He scoffed. “Definitely not in my experience.”

Bernadetta’s ears perked. What did he mean by that exactly? Were there other girls like her, who felt the same way, that wanted to do the type of things she wanted to do?

“Your father is the minister of religion as I recall correct?”

She jumped. “Um, Y-yes.”

“From what I’ve gathered your house has a rather fundamentalist interpretation of the so-called scripture.”

“I guess you could call it that, yeah.” If she could be honest she had no clue. She remembered her mother waking her up early, dragging her from her bed kicking and screaming for morning service. She recalled her father’s fiery sermons, the way he slammed his fists on the pulpit, the men that made their agreements loudly known. His threats of the eternal flames cut into her. To be a good submissive wife was the only way a woman could truly please the goddess, to be spared eternal damnation and misery. She assumed everyone believed the same way, that is, until she arrived at Garreg Mach. No one at the monastery seemed to hold those views, not even the archbishop it seemed. So that meant her father had to be base… Right?

“Hmm…Yes, Minister of Religion…” Hubert continued. “Lady Edelgard and myself for that matter, have tended to regard that position as a rather vestigial one within the nobility.”

Bernadetta couldn’t help but let out a tiny smile. Under normal circumstances if anyone else had said something like that she feared the Goddess would strike him down, but someone as intimidating as Hubert would stand a chance.

She buried her face further unto the crook of his neck tracing her hands down his side until her hand found his, giving it a timid squeeze

“Oh?” Hubert mused.

“It’s nothing I just… feel safe with you right now.”

Safe. What an odd uncomfortable word. It took Hubert a moment to process what she just told him. It certainly was was an unexpected description. He never recalled anyone saying they felt that way around him. Not even Lady Edelgard.

“Safe? Tell me I’m not losing my edge?” He chuckled. “Well, I suppose it is a better alternative than you screaming in fear.Though I would appreciate if you didn’t let on to it too much when we are in public, I do have a reputation to maintain.” He said.

“Oh no, you’re still scary! I think I’m just finally getting use to it… sort of.” She said as she hid her face into his hair.

Hubert laughed. It was nowhere near as boisterous as he would’ve liked due to the stinging pain, but he couldn’t help himself.

They laid together in silence for awhile. Hubert closed his eyes, and he began to drift, only to awaken again shortly afterwards to the quiet mouselike sounds of Bernadetta snoring. He turned his head her way and studied her face. She looked so peaceful, content… adorable. He could feel himself growing red. Did she always look like this when she slept? He sighed as he allowed himself to sink further into his pillows. Not much brought him satisfaction, other than coffee, the occasional board game, him helping Edelgard achieve her goals for all of Fodland.

But lying next to Bernadetta like this, being in her company excavated a long lost feeling in his chest, a sensation he couldn’t quite put a finger on. It was more than contentment, joy perhaps?

Whatever it was, he did not want it to end.

He really had grown accustom to their time together. He bit his lip as he thought of the weeks before and the weeks that were to follow. He and Lady Edelgard had worked themselves to the bone in order to to rebuild Fodlan’s future. A divisive future, one that would most certainly burn bridges. Catching feelings over one of his classmates was not part of the plan, yet he allowed it. He didn’t have the strength to chastise himself.

Perhaps there was a chance, albeit a small one that she would accompany them in the future, he pondered. Hubert stopped himself. He let out a painful sigh. No, he was not going to allow himself to hold out hope, not again. Better to accept the pain of the situation now and deal with the inevitable before it would distract him from his work.

His thoughts were disturbed by Bernadetta rustling the sheets. She opened her eyes, her gaze hazy. She yawned as she rest her hand on his. “Did I fall asleep?”

“I think we both did.” He said giving her hand a squeeze. He waited a moment before he spoke. “Bernadetta.” His voice was heavy.

“Mhm?”

“Perhaps it would be best for us to sleep in our own cots, lest we deal with Manuela in the morning.

Bernadetta’s eyes widened “O-or Seteth!” She trembled.

He chuckled. “An even better reason for us to retire in our respective places.”

It pained him to watch her leave him, but there was comfort in knowing she would be right next to him, for the time being. He watched her as she tucked herself in, bundling herself in a little cocoon as she drifted off, her face looking as peaceful as it was earlier. 

It took Hubert another hour, or so, before he felt that he had just enough strength to leave his cot. Though he was still in rough shape, Bernadetta’s work on him was impeccable. He limped as he made his way out, stopping himself to look back at Bernadetta still sleeping. He lingered, feeling as though his legs were cemented in place, that was until Edelgard came to greet him.

“I take you’re ready to go?”

Hubert looked back over his shoulder, to where Bernadetta was fast asleep.

He knew continuing to look at her would be torture.Hubert mustered up his resolve, and turned away from the infirmary in resignation.

“Yes Lady Edelgard.” He responded, his voice stiff.

Edelgard inspected his face briefly, then lent him her shoulder. They remained silent until they reached the Vestra carriage Hubert had arranged months prior. She helped him in, making sure he was situated as comfortably as possible. She paused before stepping out, taking his hand into her own.

“Hubert.”

“Yes Lady Edelgard?”

She breathed in. “If this situation were reversed, I know you would tell me, that this is what we planned for.” She paused before giving him direct eye contact, her gaze was fierce. “But, I am not you.” She squeezed his hand. “I've always told you that when the time comes and you meet someone that you should follow your hea-“

“You know that my duty to you comes prior to anything. And I will not go back on that now.” He said, his voice stern.

She sighed as she let go of his hand, stopping herself halfway outside the carriage. “Well as your friend, I’ll say there is a chance she might join us.”

“Only in our most optimistic contingencies” His voice darkened.“And I as a rule, always plan for the worst.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for your patience with this. 
> 
> Writing this has definitely helped with dealing with quarantine anxiety. That and illustrating client work along with my own stuff. I feel very lucky to still have income at this point in time. 
> 
> I hope you all are doing well and staying safe. I know some of us have been dealing with COVID-19 directly. So let's make sure to stick by and support one another. <3

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you so much for reading! I'm hoping to include more purity culture stuff and the negative effects it can have on someone in the upcoming chapters. I grew up with those teachings and it took me a very long time to learn that my body was not dirty. I definitely have my boyfriend to thank for that. :) So, I hope to portray that experience accurately through Bernie's POV


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